guardiansrealm.us

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."

"I love cats… they taste just like chicken."

"Out of my mind.  Back in five minutes."

"Cover me!  I'm changing lanes."

"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools."

"Happiness is a belt-fed weapon."

"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."

"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep."

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"Montana… At least our cows are sane!"

"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."

"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."

"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"

"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."

"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."

"Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips."

"Friends don't let Friends drive Naked."

"Wink, I'll do the rest!"

"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."

"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"

"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"

"Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all it's students."

"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."

"Reality?  that's where the pizza delivery guy comes from."

"Forget about World Peace… visualize using your turn signal"