guardiansrealm.us

"Warning:  dates on the calendar are closer then they appear."

"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."

"We are born naked, wet and hungry.  Then things get worse."

"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."

"He who laughs lasts, thinks the slowest."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everone else."

"Lottery:  a tax on people who are bad at math."

"Very funny, Scotty.  Now beam up my clothes."

"Puritanism:  the haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be having fun."

"Consciousness:  that annoying time between naps."

"I souport publik edukashun."

"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."

"We are Microsoft.  Resistance is futile.  You WILL be assimilated."

"Be nice to your kids.  They'll choose your nursing home."

"Three kinds of people:  those who count and those who can't."

"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"

"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'… till you can find a rock."

"I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles."

"I killed a 6-pack, just to watch it die."

"Sex on television can't hurt you, unless you fall off."

"I'm a corporate executive, I keep things from happening."

AND FINALLY:
"If Obama is the answer, it must have been a really stupid question."

The End