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Men's English

Yes = Yes

No = No

Mayby = Maybe

"I'm sorry." = I'm sorry.

"I'm Hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd like to have sex with you.

"Can I take you out to diner" = I'd like to have sex with you.

"Can I call you somtime?" = I'd like to have sex with you.

"May I have this dance?" = I'd like to have sex with you.

"Nice dress!" = Great cleavage!

"You look tense let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?

"I love you." = Lets have sex now.

"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better be having sex now!

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different.

"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then maybe you'd like to have sex with me.

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

"I like that one better." (while shopping) = Pick a goddamn dress and let's go home!

 

 

 

 

Women's English

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

"I'm sorry." = You'll be sorry.

We need = I want

"It's your decision." = The correct decision should be obvious

"Do what you want." = You'll pay for this later

"We need to talk." = I need to complain

"Sure... go ahead." = No, I don't want you to

"I'm not upset." = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

"You're... so manly." = You need to shave and you sweat a lot

"You're certainly attentive tonight." = Is sex all you ever think about?

"Be romantic, turn out the lights." = I have flabby thighs.

"This kitchen is so inconvenient." = I want a new house.

"I want new curtains." = And new carpets, and furniture, and wallpaper...

"Hang the picture here." = NO, I mean hang it there!

"I heard a noise." = I noticed you were almost asleep.

"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

"How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

"I'll be there in a minute." = Kick off you shoes and find a good game on TV.

"Is my butt fat?" - Tell me I'm beautiful.

"You have to learn to communicate." = Just agree with me.

"Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you're dead meat.]

"Was that the baby?" = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

"I am not yelling!" - Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

The answer to 'What's wrong?' = 'Nothing.'

Nothing = Everything

Everything = My PMS is acting up – OR

"Nothing, really." = It's just that you're such an asshole